Metallic
by TigerxFox
Summary: All Sanji's Christmases tasted like the metallic flavor of iron from the blood in his mouth.


It would be expected that, between Zoro and Sanji, Sanji, being the festive butterfly he is, would love something like Christmas. It's lively, has lots of food, it's full of love, it's colorful and vibrant. But, unfortunately, that wasn't the case. And it's not like Zoro loved Christmas or anything, instead he just had nothing against it or in favor of it, basically the same way he felt about all holidays. And after the scandal his boyfriend did on Halloween when Zoro didn't put on a costume and after being kicked in the jaw for saying he didn't think Valentine's Day was such a big deal, Zoro was surprised when he was not criticized at all for yawning at the idea of Christmas celebrations. And Sanji decorated the ship mechanically, and it didn't look ugly, quite the contrary, but one could feel that there wasn't the least excitement or love. He spent Christmas locked up in the kitchen and barely exchanged two words with everyone. Now, on the crew's second Christmas together, things were no different.

Sanji continued to perform his duties as usual, but Zoro realized that there was something off. Sanji spent the whole day shooing him away from the kitchen with the excuse that "it is not of your business, damn nosy plantlife" and the whole night to and fro, serving food, taking cookies out of the oven, finishing dessert, refilling the cups and mugs of their all crewmates. Never spending more time than necessary outside the kitchen, and never offering everyone more than painfully fake smiles.

Zoro knew that, whatever this was, it should have something to do with his childhood, as well as anything that weakened that ever-strong man. And his guess was correct. The fact was that while the other holidays were introduced to him throughout his life, Christmas has always been a constant presence. A painful one.

Every year, everything was the same. Sanji tried to make cookies with effort and love, and was despised at every attempt. He tried to please his father in every way possible, but Judge told him that the only thing he wanted for Christmas was to Sanji not to lose to his brothers. "Where is my gift? You always ruin my Christmas, Sanji." he would say, as the other three curly browed demons punched Sanji to the ground and he cried bitter tears from guilt and pain. All his Christmases tasted like the metallic flavor of iron from the blood in his mouth. And it only got worse when he started spending Christmas in that icy, lonely dungeon. Although they opened their iron mask so he could eat, the taste of the cold metal never really left his lips.

He thought he had to pretend. That, if he didn't put a smile on his face and exhausted himself from cooking for the crew, everyone would realize his sadness and he would ruin everything for them. That if he spent too much time with any of them he would defile them with his bitterness. Because, no matter how they demonstrated to him again and again how much he was loved and accepted, deep down that child wearing the iron mask still existed buried in his chest, and it made him think he was worthless.

Party was over, everybody's leaving. Zoro's eyelids were almost betraying him. His eyes, dangerously closing, as he saw a flash of golden hair pass by_. Wake. The. Fuck. Up._ He thought, with great effort. He usually drank himself to stupor at almost every chance he had. And really, he never even cared about the after party. He wasn't supposed to. But still, here he was, duelling with himself to his awakening. Here he was forcing himself, with a very dizzy head and tired muscles from an early fight, to open his eyes and get up from the floor.

"You're drunk" Sanji said, clearly not impressed, as soon as Zoro arrived by his side on the kitchen, where he was doing all the dishes from the party.

" y." Zoro answered slowly, as if he was explaining something to a five-year-old. "You should be too."

"Got to sleep, idiot."

"Nope. Helping you out." The swordsman said while drying a plate.

"You're gonna make a mess like this, marimo."

"Hey, I'm not that drunk. Tsc."

Sanji sighed. He was already tired and didn't check the clock, but he probably didn't have many hours of sleep left to waist arguing with the Neanderthal.

"Break anything and I'll break your nose."

"Yeah, yeah" Zoro said waving his hand in dismiss.

They had finished most of the dishes when a comfortable silence fell on them, but Sanji could hear Zoro sighing as if he was frustratedly trying to say something. Finally, the mosshead managed to mumble a few words.

"Not everything needs to be that heavy, you know?" That was all he could say.

_I see you carrying all this weight on your chest all the time and you don't have to. It was like this before the deal with your family happened. And even now, that we all know everything and you're back and safe, it still is. _

"I'm here to drink with you and celebrate. And also, to wash the dishes later. The same thing is with... this thing between us. " He tried again to convey how he felt.

Sanji momentarily paused the sponge's movement. He stared at the plate in his hands. Did Zoro wanted to say what he thought... Did Zoro really meant that?

"For better and for worse." Again.

"You're so damn gay." Sanji said and Zoro could hear the smile in his voice

"Yeah, perhaps"

"No, not perhaps. Literally. You almost recited married vows there."

"Well…that wouldn't be so bad."

Sanji's eyes nearly jumped out of their sockets. When he tried to recover to ask exactly how many bottles of sake Zoro had drunk to be so out of his mind like this, he was interrupted by the idiot who had time to go god knows where during his trance and was holding a present toward him.

He looked dumbfounded at the object, as if it would bite him. It was a huge box and Sanji wondered when the hell Zoro had taken the time (and money) to buy it. But the excitement didn't last long. Inside the box there was, of course, another box. Wow, hilarious, Zoro. Inside the second box, a third box. They didn't end, like an endless Russian doll. Zoro was laughing like a maniac now, he seemed to be amused enough to stare at a frustrated Sanji around a pile of empty boxes. Apparently, it was extremely fun to laugh at his face.

Zoro noticed Sanji's look of disarray and fury and tried to keep him going.

"Keep going, c'mon. It's almost over, I swear. "

Sanji wasn't going to continue. Not a fucking chance. But the look Zoro gave him when he threatened to give up opening the boxes, made his heart melt. He unwrapped two or three more boxes until he reached a tiny box that had to be the last. He opened the thing without much expectation anyway, since he had just opened several fake ones. His eyes then met a ring. Or at least he thought it was a ring. Although, if it were, it certainly should have been the ugliest ring he had ever seen in his entire life. Its shape could barely be called a circle, surely it must had been sculpted by Zoro himself and his lack of talent for such showed. But not all these mental insults about the horrid object prevented the thick tears from continuing to fall from the blond's eyes as he held the ring with shaking hands. He thanked Zoro for hugging him, so he wouldn't stare at him while he looked so pathetic.

"I worry about you. And I won't run away from you. Not now, not when you're down, not ever." Zoro whispered almost inaudibly in his ear.

"You can shut up already, you sappy kelp." And maybe he would have some right to scold the other if his face wasn't all soaked and if he wasn't holding Zoro so tight it almost bruised him.

After so many years being despised and ridiculed, there was someone who loved him completely. And even when he was still reluctant to accept love, even when he locked himself away and tried to suffer alone, there was someone who wanted him at his best and worst times.

Sanji kissed the rough ring that gleamed on his pale finger. It tasted like metal, obviously. Even the man he was embracing smelled of steel, somehow, just by handling his precious swords. Not just smelled, his skin also tasted like steel. The rust stench and flavor was always everywhere in Sunny, in the red-soaked clothes and all over the deck floor, every time he and his nakama fought to protect the ship and each other.

But it was completely different from the metallic taste he remembered. Before, metal tasted like bitterness. Now, like love.

"_Don't read__ the__ last page_

_But I stay when I'm lost, and you're scared_

_And you're turning away_

_I want your midnights_

_But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day"_


End file.
